As usual, it is really hard for me to write here, but I know it is a therapeutic thing for me, and hopefully helps many of you who have gone through this.
Thank you for your continued support. I am getting more and more scared as the end of the month approaches and my insurance runs out. The insurance I use to take care of this healing process. The insurance my former-employer, Weaver Street Market Co-Op, chose to discontinue because of my inability to heal, thus terminating not only my employment, but also my insurance. My inability to return to my previous work environment. Their inability to find me a suitable position that I could do from home. Or, to find more resources for myself and my son.
On Wednesday, August 15th, I had a appointment with my chiropractor and my physical therapist, who are thankfully in the same building. This are very important visits for me. It takes me about a hour to get dressed and get my things together to take to these visits.
That morning, I was really proud of myself. I made my bed (it's the little things), drank my tea (which is disgusting, but it is for joint health) and got my clothes on (again, the little things).
Because of the atrophy, my legs are obviously very weak, as are my arms. While walking into the doctors appointments, I fell. No reason. My knees buckled, and for some reason I was able to use my weak arms to support my head so I didn't hit it again. But, I skinned my chin, and, once again I was covered in blood from both of my knees hitting the pavement. Thus, and it's a little thing, pissed me off because it was the last pair of pants that fit me and now they are ruined in blood and holes.
The positive side is, well, I was right outside of the doctors. They got me bandaged up. They took care of me supported me. I was unable to go to either appointment, obviously.
These are more things that scare me. What if I had fell while I was at my home? I'm not sure if I would have figured out how to get up.
After the assault, no one noticed me on the ground, covered in blood. No one noticed. Again, I am very thankful that, when I fell, I protected my head, and that I was right by the doctors. But now I have another set of healing I have to go through. My left hip is bruised, both of my knees are scraped and bruised, resulting in bandages and have more problems with walking. My foot is cut, and my knuckles are scraped, too.
This is my everyday life. It is scary. On so many levels. Fear of being assaulted is one thing, but fear of being able to take care of myself physically and financially is absolutely terrifying.
Again, I continue to thank you all for your support and kind words. Please feel free to post this blog with any friends who can help, or know that there is comfort out there. We are all going to heal.
My love to all of you.
No comments:
Post a Comment