How Much Truth is too much Truth?

When I was 9 or 10 I got called fat.
It always haunted me. It still does from time to time but I have been treated for a eating disorder (10 or so years ago).
Now, I look at my body, which isn't healing. My body that doesn't work because I can't keep food down. My legs that are too weak to run like I use to be able to do. Legs that hurt and ache. Legs that hiked. Legs that could get into a too-big truck. Legs that did, fortunately, let me run fast enough after the assault to get to some sort of safety. I am still not sure how I was able to run that fast with a head lac, broken ribs, etc. BUT I did.
And I get frustrated. I get frustrated that walking to go to pee takes 5 minutes. I get frustrated that I literally have to get carried out of my home for doctors appointments because I can't drive. I get frustrated that I can't eat. And I can't eat because of the assault. Which makes me frustrated that I had a eating disorder.
I'd give anything to eat a salad and not throw up from nerves. The thought of making myself throw up when I was in high school/college makes me cringe.
I actually made myself throw up what little food I ate. And now, I throw up for no reason...No reason they really know of yet, other than nerves.
AND it pisses me off. I've been mostly vegan/vegetarian my whole life, but, the greedy, angry little me wants a big steak.
I went to a private Christian school from kindergarten until, well, I was kicked out because they thought I was Satanist. I keep the letter in a notebook to look at from time to time because the story is so funny. I was 12 when I was "dismissed" from the school. My Mom and Dad had just divorced. I was about to enter high school (I'm old now, so there wasn't a middle school at that time). It didn't seem funny at the time. I was scared. Feeling lonely. I didn't have friends, really. The people I thought were my friends disappeared.
I made really good grades. But I dyed my hair black (thanks Mom for letting me do that!). I wasn't "normal", especially in a private school.
I was kicked out from the school, according to the letter, because I might not "be" a Satanist, but I gave the impression I was. Because, black hair=Satanist.
The letter they sent read something like "She might not be a Satanist, but she looks like she is. We had a student selling "drugs" but it was actually fish food. But because he was pretending he was doing this, we had to let him go".
This was the start of feeling bullied and hurt.
I am thankful that my high school experience ended up being amazing. The school was/is fantastic, and, for better or worse, the most people who have reached out to me are people who I went to high school with/lived in Winston-Salem with.
I also want to add how important it is to me that a lot of other humans have reached out. Again, I want to re-state how much it means to me when I get your messages, even if I don't respond quickly. I know you all believe in me. Which is something I am having a hard time doing.