I have wrote several blogs in the last few weeks, but I have no wanted to post them. I will, soon enough, but they are very personal, like all most of the blogs I write.
It has been a very up and down month. I have found out a lot of information on my injuries, both physically and mentally. I am trying to look at this as a positive thing - to know what the best route to go for continuing to heal. It is scary. Every time I get a piece of information, I realize how much further I have to go.
Since I cannot afford a PT right now, I am doing things at home to try to strengthen my body, but this requires nutrition, which is still very hard for me. The things that I can eat one day, I can't eat the next because I can't keep them down, which is obviously incredibly frustrating. I am hungry, I get tired easily and yes, I feel sorry for myself.
There are good days, there are bad days, and there are very bad days. There is no middle ground right now. I am trying very hard to accept that while also being kind to myself.
We should all be kind to ourselves, whether you have had any type of assault, had a bad day (or week/month/year). I am trying my best, in all areas that I can, to recover, but as the days go by, I realize it's not going to completely change. Life has good things and bad things. I know many of you face this. I know that I'm not alone - we are all struggling in some way, some more than others.
I am still unemployed because I cannot work, physically. I am still in need of any financial support. I still need things done for me that I can't physicall do. This all makes me mad because I have never been one to ask for things, but I am asking.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over this year. I could not have done it without you all.
Stay aware, take care of each other. I can't state that enough. A simple smile might brighten someones day.
I want to believe that any kind gesture will help someone feel better, somehow.
My love to all of you.
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