I'm a Ghost in this Town.

There is a lonely feeling in healing. Even when people reach out, I still feel very alone. I feel scared.

I know this is a feeling that many of you have, even if you were not assaulted.

A lonely, lost feeling. Everything is overwhelming. Nothing is going to change. That doesn't make one weak. It makes them honest with who they are and what they are going through.

I am trying to teach myself that, but I can't yet. The Allie/Aleesa you know, even if you don't know me personally, is not use to being weak. But, I am. weak emotionally/mentally/physically.

There are a lot of you who don't understand this. I'm thankful for that because I don't want  you to understand this grief. I want you to not ever have something like this happen to you. Feel lucky that it didn't happen to you. But protect yourself (and others) because this happened to me. And it could happen to you. It could happen to you anywhere. A safe town. A place you might think is "ok".

I know that eventually I'll be able to walk properly again. But I can't yet. I know I will eventually be able to bathe and not have a lazy eye.

But that time is not now. I have been rushing to get healed and I have only hindered it. I continue to fight, but, there isn't much fight left in me. I still know I'm a Warrior, but some Warriors have to know what their  limits are. Respect and understand them, even when they don't want to.

My love to all of you. Stay safe, stay aware. Do not take these words lightly. The world is a horrible place for so many people right now. I would like to believe there are enough of us to take care of one another, but I am not sure of that anymore. So many try to try, but they just stay away.