I Want the Grass to Sway.

This isn't sexy. This isn't about my tattoos.
This is about what it looks like when you can barely walk because you weigh 80 and doing this (lifting your legs) is a huge success.
I cannot really move my legs. At all. But, I am trying And it hurts. On so many levels.
In this photo, you can't see the scars. They are mostly on my right leg. But they are huge. They look like I was burned by a fence. Because I was thrown against a fence. You also can't see the veins in my legs. Not sturdy leg veins. Veins that show through because there isn't enough fat on my body.
There are so many ways I have to situate myself to be comfortable. This is one of them. I pile all my pillows up and wrap up in a blanket. Then I move again. Repeat. My doctors have told me to stay flat on my back, but a lot of the time, I want to lay on my side. clinging to my other pillows. My other blankets. Being able to look out through the blinds for safety.
And again, I get frustrated. I get pissed off that my body isn't working.
I repeat this over and over because this is not a life I lived before.
This is not a life I wish on anyone.
Stay safe. Stay aware.